Hey there! I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged but I can hardly believe that it’s been 3 YEARS since I embarked on this journey. Seems like it was just yesterday when I put the wheels in motion to start a new chapter of my life. Before I continue, here’s the landmark events in my journey so far:
Started hormones (Primoteston): 7th September 2015
Top Surgery: 12th November 2015
So much have happened since then, but to help me organise this post better, I’m going to break it down into several categories 🙂
From the beginning I’ve known that it would be highly unlikely for me to have a beard due to genetics (on the bright side I am less likely to go bald) – so in terms of facial hair, I still pretty much have none. However, the hairs near the corners of my lips are thicker and darker while the top lip area seems to have slightly more growth. Heaps of baby hairs (vellus hairs) around the edge of my face/jawline and my sideburns have lengthened.
Eyebrows have thickened as well along with heaps of strays, though it is unlikely that it would form a unibrow – it’s also worthwhile to note that I basically had no eyebrows pre-T. Seriously, they would not show in pictures, that’s how bad it was. As for leg hair, I have a patch on each leg – instead of having uniformed growth, my body hairs have decided to focus on growing the length of existing hairs. Which unfortunately includes my nose hairs where I have to trim them more often than I shave #truestorybruh
Enough about hairs, I’ve recently visited my GP and he noticed that my facial features have become masculine enough to a point where he would’ve mistaken me for cisgender – ie. passing (more on this in a bit). I’ve stopped noticing major changes after about a year on T but it would be less obvious to me as I see myself everyday. So here’s a comparison pic:
I’ve got to admit that I haven’t been working out for various reasons but surprisingly my arms still have muscle definition. Chest has deflated a lil with man-boobs threatening to form – but I only have myself to blame for that. I really need to get my shit sorted and then start working out again.
I am currently using Primoteston Depot (testosterone enantate 250mg/1ml) on a 3 weeks cycle. When I first started, I had 1 shot every 2 weeks which became 3 weeks after about 2 years. But there is a current global shortage of Primoteston thanks to manufacturing issues so I’ve been forced to move to a 4 weeks cycle.
However I would most likely be switched onto Reandron which is a 4ml dosage every 3 months once my blood tests come back for a visit to an endocrinologist. I must admit that I am not looking forward to the switch cause Primoteston works well for me and it is a much more cost effective option.
When I first started hormones, the first 2 months were horrible. The mood swings and heat flushes were unbearable. But once my body got used to it, I slowly but surely started to really change into a new person. In fact, just recently I met up with an internet friend of mine for the first time after years of knowing each other. She asked me why did I decide to change myself. I told her that it just felt right and I have never been happier and confident in my life.
I’m not saying I’m all good and life is perfect now (because it isn’t) but I do feel like I am much more well equipped to deal with what life has to throw in my way. It’s also interesting to note that for the first time in my adult life, I am single because I chose to remain single and actually focus on myself. I think before transitioning I was always looking for a girlfriend so that I could focus on her instead of taking a hard look at myself. I’ve ignored so many warning signs that in the end I’ve caused myself much pain and suffering. But hindsight is always 20-20 so I guess I am on the right path now.
In terms of daily life, I am lucky to pass as cisgender (though I know it is not every trans person’s goal, it is for most). And from my experience, male privilege definitely exists. People tend to take me more seriously and actually find value in what I have to say – but I am also mindful that this could also be because I am now much more comfortable with who I am and therefore appear more confident. But I guess until changes are made in society, I doubt I will be able to determine which factor has more impact though it could just be a mixture of both.
And there you have it, the 3 year update on my transition. Do comment below if you have any questions or contact me via email/Instagram and I will do my best to answer them.
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